he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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