They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i've created a new STD.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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