the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
