how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
