If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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