Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dick very happy bro
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
