I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
