turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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