We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
