The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
