i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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