everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
