I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
did i walk over a car last night?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
