My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
