You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
