And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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