so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
