Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
