just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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