How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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