you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
