did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
