went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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