I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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