I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
