I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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