And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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