I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
