idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am puke
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
