Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
