My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
time to smoke my breakfast
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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