this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
