I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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