you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
