Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
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