this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
