I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sext me about skeletons
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
