haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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