Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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