I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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