did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
sarcasm needs its own font
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Boobs are out for the taking
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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