Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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