Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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