that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
