Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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