Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
