jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
