But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
