In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
