just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
